


i can hear the birds singing. when did they become so loud?

by socks_oda



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: This is a vent fic lol, but not really, he’s so tired, somewhat perfect blue inspired, techno centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socks_oda/pseuds/socks_oda
Summary: techno doesn’t know who he is anymore
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, no romance all platonic
Comments: 6
Kudos: 275





	i can hear the birds singing. when did they become so loud?

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for depictions of violence, death, blood, mental health (?)

“Blood God” was a title he was very much used to by now. Passing by on the streets and whispering about the Blood God, worried, nervous whispers. Some stared in awe, some in pure fear. Either way, it felt nice to know people were scared.

Sometimes.

Everyone thought of him as a murderous monster with no feelings, but he felt he was more complicated than just that explanation. They didn’t know the intense guilt and ghosts following after every championship and game he had won, the voices becoming louder and louder with each person he had killed.

Bodies piled up at his feet; his hands and clothes were stained red. Will these stains ever wash away?

He didn’t know these faces of these poor civilians who had dared challenge him. There were rumors, warnings to not go near him ever. Never challenge the Blood God. Still, they did not listen to these worried cries and stepped up to him. They were cut down swiftly and easily.

He would crouch down to the bleeding mass in front of him, keeping his face blank and emotionless, watching the fool beg for forgiveness and to let them live another day. These prayers were soon silenced, but only for a moment. There was hardly any silence anymore. This fool would join the voices haunting him, guilting him.

Phil suggested that they try to talk about it, but Techno shut down immediately, staring away and not conversing. He knew that Phil was worried, so were Wilbur and Tommy, so he tried to keep it to himself as much as possible. He didn’t like seeing the worried looks on their faces.

This night was a loud one; Techno was unable to fall asleep. This was usually a normal occurrence, staying up until unreasonable times listening to the cries and groans. It kept him wide awake, the burden of guilt weighing upon his shoulders.

He had asked Phil to take a different room, the spare room, to sleep in now. He used to share a room with Wilbur and Tommy, but knew that they were losing sleep from trying to comfort Techno through his nightmares. Phil, though reluctant, agreed to let him, asking him to promise that he’d come to him whenever it got too loud.

Techno had only scoffed, used the excuse that he was not a child anymore, and headed off to bed.

Now, he lay awake, staring up at the ceiling where he had put up small, glow in the dark stars. They shone with a dim light, but a light nonetheless. This was something he remembered from when he was younger. Phil let him put up stars to have some other light besides the night light for the nighttime. To have comfort in being able to see the room around him.

Well, the night light was smashed to bits now, so this was all he had.

It was especially loud tonight, but he couldn’t understand any of the words being spoken in his ears. It was English, yes, but he wasn’t processing the words being spoken to him. All he knew was that they were angry, they were scared, they were sad, much like him.

Techno sat up and let out a breath he had been holding, looking around the room with an almost manic look in his eyes. There was a large, full length mirror hanging on his closet door. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark, but he saw himself-- no, this wasn’t him

The man was looking back at him, his legs crossed and a blood-stained sword in his hands, one gripped the hilt and one gripped the blade, causing his hand to begin to dribble with blood, which dripped onto the sheets. His eyes seemed to have a faint, red glow to them. There was a crown on top of his head, that blinked with the small light of the moonlight through his curtains. This person was dressed to be a king, but he was bloodied and bruised, with blood splattering and staining his clothes, a mixture between his own and the victims. 

As Techno’s eyes adjusted more to the darkness, he saw the bodies on the floor, their limbs mangled and bent in unnatural ways. Lifeless eyes that stared right back at him, boring into his soul. 

_I’m scared_ , he thought.

“You can’t be scared,” the thing in the mirror said, running its fingertip over the sharpest edge of the blade. “I’m not scared.”

_ You’re...you’re… _

The bodies kept piling up, one after another and another, quickly piling. It was suffocating. Next to him, three bodies of the closest people to him.  
  


Phil with a stab wound through his chest, blood dribbling out of his mouth.

Tommy with his skin pale and bruised; broken nails and broken arms.

Wilbur with severed hands and feet, a large gash over the right side of his face.

_Stop it, please, I can’t take it anymore,_ he begged.

“You’ve never been scared. Why so now?”

_ I’m so sorry. _

“You’ve never been sorry. You’ve never been guilty. Why so now?”

_ I have been. I have been guilty before. _

“You’re weak. Look what happened to you after you stopped fighting. Look at what you could have become; you could be a God.”

_ I don’t- I can’t. I can’t continue to fight. I’ve taken too many innocent lives. _

He could hear his own breathing begin to quicken, the anxiety becoming more real to him. He could feel the bodies of his brothers and father next to him and leaning closer and closer and closer towards him.

“Look at me. I continued to fight, got stronger. I am not weak, like you. What are you doing with your life now? You’re just wasting away,” the figure stood up and walked towards the mirror.

Techno got up from his head, stepping past the bodies. There were disgusting squelching sounds under his feet. The familiar smell of rotting flesh filled his nose, causing him to gag.

He faced himself in the mirror, staring at this new person. He seemed so familiar, but so distant.

It only kept taunting.

“You’re wasting away with these people you call your family. What if they don’t care for you at all, hm? They don’t. They’re disgusted with you and with all of your actions.”

_It’s your fault,_ he stared intently at the one in the crown, which seemed to glimmer brighter now. The shiny light and intense smell was overwhelming; he just wanted to sleep. Have a nice rest after all these years.

“I’m the best version of you,” it cooed. “Look what happened after I left them; I continued to reign supreme among all these people. I’m stronger than you could ever imagine. I’m the true Blood God.”

Techno clenched his fist and breathed in and out slowly, like Phil had taught him. He needed to calm down, and he needed to calm down fast.

_ You’re not the Blood God. He doesn’t exist anymore. _

“Look at what you could have become!” The figure leaned in close, grinning a scarily wide grin. Its teeth were too sharp, compared to Techno’s already sharp teeth. Its scars were more prominent, fresher, even. Its hands were clawed, the claws a bit too sharp. Its eyes are a bit too red. “I’m a God, you’re….what even are you? You’re weak, you’re weak Techno. You threw your whole life away for three humans. They don’t even love you. Look how much stronger I got once I rid of them.”

_ They’re my family. They love me, they care for me. _

“They haven’t bothered to check up on you once recently, have they, hm?”

_ I… _

“They don’t care. They’re allowing you to become the weakest you’ve ever been.” It scoffed. “I thought you were better than this.  _ They _ thought you were better than this.”

The other voices were beginning to ring in his ears, becoming gradually louder until it drowned out the creature in the mirror, who kept rambling, kept taunting. It kept its red gaze fixated on Techno. The real Techno? He didn’t know anymore.

_ You’re not real…. _

“I am real. I am the realest you there’s ever been. I can’t believe you’ve doubted me before; you should have just listened to me from the start.”

Techno looked down, the intense red gaze keeping him locked in the scared, defenseless position.

“I’m the real one here, you’re delusional.” It gave a laugh, a dry laugh that sounded painful. “You have a false sense of hope. No one can save you now.”

He couldn’t say anything back to the one in the mirror, his nails digging deep into his palms. It hurt, but the pain reminded him where he was truly. Though, this pain would not be able to ground him for much longer.

He was frozen in place, feeling freezing cold fingers touching his ankles and grabbing ahold of him. The hands of the bodies, his victims, grabbing and holding on. They were to finally get revenge.

“I can’t believe you,” it murmured. Techno looked back up, the fear prominent in his wide eyes. “You’re just some dumb illusion in my head aren’t you? Trying to bring me down from my podium? ‘Humble me’?! Who do you think you are?!”

Techno brought his fist to the mirror, the sound of the glass shattering bringing him back to reality. He was alone, the room cold. He was acutely aware of the pain in his hand, and could see blood dripping down onto the carpet. 

This was what he needed to keep him grounded. The thing in the mirror was screaming, its face distorted in the shattered fragments of the mirror.

Techno stepped back and began to stomp on the fragments, reducing them to smaller and smaller bits until he was unable to hear the screaming anymore, only his loud, panicked breaths.

His door opened, and he could see Phil standing there with a worried expression. “Techno….”

Techno started toward him, a rush of relief. “You’re here, you’re real. I must be real. I’m the real one, right? We are real aren’t we?” He hoped so; there was no screaming in his ears at the moment. “I need...I need a break--I have to--”

“Shh...calm down,” Phil said softly, holding his arms out, to which Techno immediately collapsed into him and tried to relax his tense shoulders. He didn’t cry, he never let himself cry, but he hiccuped softly and held onto Phil’s shirt with a tight grip.  
  


“I’m the real one, aren’t I?”

“You’re the real one.”

_ I’m not. _

“I...when did they become so loud?” Techno leaned more towards Phil. “I couldn’t...I...I thought you had died. You, Wilbur, and Tommy. They’re still here, right? I can’t lose you guys, not one of you. It kept...it kept taunting me and I saw all of you…. You were….”

“We can go see them if that will help?” Phil suggested, rubbing Techno’s back gently. He wasn’t entirely sure how to help him, but he wanted what was best for him.

“I need to be grounded,” he murmured. “Or else I’ll be lost...confused...”


End file.
